Seeing Clearly Now…

How about an update to this crazy no sugar thing I committed myself to?!

There’s a foggy haze that’s been lifted and I feel like I have something substantial to actually write about.  So during this “sugar detox” I’ve found some spiritual clarifty and practices.  I’ve gotten back to and better at meditating, I actually went out and tried hot yoga (thanks to my WeightWatchers friend Lula and my BFF Katie for the nudge), and I realized just how foggy I’d been operatering these last few months.

During my rebirth of my meditation practice, I came across this excerpt and felt the need to share.

The Final Obstacle Is Us

“The greater the crisis it seems, the swifter the evolution.”
~Elizabeth Gilbert
There has never been a better moment in human history than right now to be a woman. Nobody in the history of womankind ever had a better chance to manifest her own life than the modern woman … right now.

 Then why do we still battle the lingering doubts and prejudices in our own minds that convince us we are not worthy—not good enough, not strong enough, not talented enough, not brave enough?

Why are we holding ourselves back from greatness?

It’s from a Deepak Chopra daily reflection that I did a while back.  In cleaning out my inbox (yes, I do stuff like that) I came across it again and re-read it.  This speaks so much truth to me.  This whole process is really revealing how much I’ve been holding myself back.  I don’t sit here wallowing in regret about it, on the contrary!  I’m actually grateful for my new found clarity!  I didn’t know I was walking around in a fog.  I didn’t realize how much I’d been missing out on by being in that state of being.  I was more like a zombie then human.  I’d wake up, eat, work some, eat, want to nap (sometimes did), work a bit more, eat, and then sleep again.  It sounds depressing just reading that as I type it out!  To have a day like that, not a big deal in my book.  But to have every day like that, is NOT good!  But I wasn’t aware enough to realize that that is what I was doing.

It’s no wondering I wasn’t happy with myself.  It’s no wonder I put on 15 lbs over my goal weight–note that’s over my goal weight, that’s not based on the lowest I got down to.  Yes, I’m human and until I become superhuman or really accept and deal with my faults I’ll always fight this battle.  But with where I’m at now I feel like I’m in a place where I can do that.  Accepting you’re imperfections is easier said then done.  Actually, it’s almost as challenging to admit my imperfections–step one I guess.

We all “know” we aren’t perfection but who actually talks about it?  And why is it so hard to talk about anyways.  I just saw in the news how we are creating narciscistic kids but what about ourselves.  We start a petition because we don’t think it’s ok that Facebook has an emoji that allows someone to admit that they are feeling fat?  Why?  Who cares if that’s how they feel?  I feel fat sometimes–usually it’s when I’ve over indulged on food.  No we are being censored on admitting our feelings?  And the other thing…with this recent “International Womens Day” (do guys even get a day?) when did this start and why?  It’s like the feminist’s (uh oh, I’m going on a rant and I’m sure I’m going to get comments/emails about this but too bad it’s my blog I can say what I want) own Valentine’s Day!  Why do we need ONE day to celebrate ourselves as women?  Why do we need one day to “come together” and celebrate the amazing women in this world?  Why isn’t that happening every day?  Oh I know, because the other 364 days a year we are sitting in front of our screens and judging each other.  I’ve seen “plus sized” models go through fat shaming and celebration all in the same day.  I’ve seen thin women get praised for eating indulgently in public and shamed in the same day.  I’ve seen a self empowered corporate excecutive female get praised and criticized all in the same day for being a career minded female who also wants to be a mom.  What are we doing to each other?  Are we so unhappy with ourselves that we have to bring down each other too?  This does go back to my original point about admiting and accepting our own imperfections.  In today’s society you can’t be too thin or too fat because there’s going to be a group that comes together and bashes you for it.  BE YOU!  WORRY ABOUT YOU!  I don’t mean that in a selfish, self centered way but in a Michael Jackson “take a look in the mirror” way.

We are holding ourselves back and each other by living the way we are.  Let a kid get a gift they didn’t ask for on a list so they learn humility and gratitude.  Let a student fail at a problem so they can learn how to get it right on their own.  Let a baby fall while learning to walk so they learn how to get back up and try again.  Let a woman, man, girl, boy, etc. learn to pave their own path so that they may reap the reward for achieving their goal.  There’s always a reaction for every action we take–they may be unintended but it’s going to happen none the less.  What’s the better option–“Bandaid” the problem or find a solution?  I prefer the solution, personally!

So that’s why I’m sitting here in bed (at 915pm PT) and I’m ok with that.  Label me the old lady who’s in bed before some kids are.  I don’t care.  I know that I need sleep in order to function well and with this jump ahead an hour, “performing well” isn’t where I’m at yet.  I know I’m a littler bitter that I don’t wake up at 6am to daylight anymore because of daylight savins.  But the whole government isn’t going to change that just to please me–nor they should!  Plus, I’ll adjust and get there.  I’ll be happy when the weather starts to warm and I can go for an evening run after work outside because it’s brighter later now.  I’m just a little immature about it at the moment–I’ll get over–I learned that lesson young too and I’m better for it!

So what’s this rant (yep, I’ll admit that) have to do with inner reflection, imperfection, and appreciation?  We are all individuals part of a greater piece/system.  My place in this world effects others who come in contact with me–physically or socially.  I know that if I’m not offering my best self through taking care of myself first, i’m weakening the system as a whole.  So yes, some times I just suck it up and get up and do what I have to because the world isn’t going to stop revolving if I don’t want to get out of bed.  Plus, being in that state isn’t going to make me feel any better.  Getting up is hard sometimes, but it’s for the best in the long run.

I’m seeing clearly now that taking care of myself–first and foremost–allows the system as a whole to be better.  It allows me to offer my best self to those I love and care for.  I’m not an immortal superhero who can do everything, all the time, forever.  I’m perfectly imperfection me.  What I can’t do well, someone else can and I’m good to delegate to them.  I was put on this earth for a reason and I’ll work at vocation versus trying to fulfill other’s!

Be ok and accepting of who you are and why you are who you are.  Accept your imperfections as openly as you accept your assets–they all make up who you entirely are anyways.  I’ll share this one last bit with you.  Someone in my WeightWatchers meeting this week said something so simple and yet so profound.  She was going on a cruise and worried about making the healthy choices with the all you can eat options.  A friend told her to just enjoy herself AND (this is the part I love) to let enough be enough!

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C is for COOKIE and Cookie is for ME!! Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Cookie Recipe

Many of you saw my post from this weekend when I baked (and finally nailed) my pumpkin chocolate chip cookie recipe!  I made some tweaks and most of the made for a healthier cookie.  Don’t get me wrong, this is NOT a health cookie.  I just made some swaps that were better alternatives than the usual recipe.  For example, I swaped half the butter for 1/2 cup of pumpkin.

The recipe is below and please note that I’m not a recipe writer so if you aren’t sure about something, please do ask!  Hope you enjoy!

Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Cookie Recipe

INGREDIENTS:

-1 stick (1/2 cup) of unsalted butter

-1/2 cup pureed pumpkin

-3/4 brown sugar, packed

-3/4 cup of Stevia (this is a 1:1 for the other half of the brown sugar.  So if you don’t do sweetners then do this as brown sugar instead)

-1 tsp of baking soda

-1 tsp cinnamon, ground

-1/2 tsp nutmeg, ground

-1/2 tsp cloves, ground

-pinch of ground (or fresh) ginger

-pinch of sea/kosher salt

-2 tsp vanilla extract

-2 large eggs

-1 1/4 cup All Purpose flour

-1 cup Oat flour (I made my own–cheaper and easier–by blending Quaker instant oats in my food processor)

-2 cups of semi sweet chocolate chips

DIRECTIONS:

(NOTE: this is the part where I may miss a detail because I bake so much it’s just natural and I don’t think about certain thing.  SO…IF you have any questions or need clarification, please feel free to ask)

1) Preheat oven to 350* F

2) In a mixing bowl (I make mine in my KitchenAid mixer) blend sugars, butter and pumpkin for about 1 min until mostly combined.  If you use a mixer use low-medium speed.

3) Stop the mixer and add the vanilla and the eggs.  Then continue to mix again until combined.

4) Stop the mixer once more and add the spices and baking soda.

5) With the mixer on low add in the flour–one cup at a time–until combined.

6) Stop the mixer and add the chocolate chip.  Only turn on the mixer to combine the chocolate chips into the dough, maybe about 30 seconds.

7) Scoop dough into about 1 inch balls onto a lined/greased baking sheet–twelve (12) scoops will fit on a standard size baking sheet.

8) Bake cookies for 12-15 minutes and then allow to cool on the baking sheet for about two minutes before transferring to a cooling rack.

ALL DONE, repeat until all the cookies are made! Simple as that!

For my Weight Watchers friends, I got these to 2 Points per cookie…not bad!

Leaders (Weight Watchers) Need Love Too

I’m a leader who called out sick this week for some meetings.  Why?  Because I caught whatever is going around and I’m down for the count! I’ve tried to write this blog I’ve titled numerous times, but I end up allowing myself to get pulled away by other things.  But I sit here now and recognize that this post isn’t just for others but also for myself.  Had I sat down and written this the numerous times I started to before, it probably would have come off more like and rant or venting session from me.  But my intent for this is just the opposite.  This message goes for mothers, fathers, care takers, teachers, etc. ALL of you out there you naturally put other’s well-being before your own on a day to day basis.

When I decided to join the WeightWatchers team I remember thinking that this would be a great way to hold myself accountable to my maintenance efforts.  Quite the opposite has lived out…I find myself putting my job(s) before my own needs and it’s having side effects on my body.  I spent this last week sick.  I don’t get sick often, in fact since I started taking better care of myself and living a healthier lifestyle I pretty much haven’t gotten sick at all.  But this past winter I’ve caught bad colds twice from interactions with others who’ve chosen not to stay home and take care of themselves but go out and end up infecting others.  I know I’m not living in the time of the plague but still….PEOPLE, I’m not asking you to stay home if you are sick for my sake but for YOUR OWN.

Why do we neglect to take care of ourselves or to do so last instead of first?  I find that many of my old habits like this are coming back in my new role as a WW Leader.  In talking to other leaders in my territory I find that many of them have similar habits and it saddens me.  Why is is that we who are so motivated to help others neglect to help ourselves?  In reality I offer my best self to my members when I am at my best.  They inspire me, they motivate me and they encourage me through their own actions to be the best version of myself.

So I’m leaving this post short and with a sweetness to finish….Leader, members, all people of this world…please don’t forget to take care of yourself first and foremost so you can really offer the best versions of yourselves to those you encounter!  Take time for yourself on a daily basis, eat well, be active, sleep soundly, and wake up with hope in your heart that each day is the day you will positively impact someones life!  Set yourself a solid foundation so you can build great things upon it!

 

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A Few of my Favorite Fit Things…

With the holidays upon us I was recently asked to share a few of my favorite fit things!  If you don’t know me here’s a synopsis…I’ve personally and naturally shed 170+ lbs (with no desire to gain them back).  I’m a proponent of an overall well being–meaning that in order to truly live a healthy life we must address all aspects of health (mental/emotional, spiritual and physical).  Health is an inside out way of life; we must treat our inside well to reflect a healthy outside.  You’ve seen this probably when people post things like it’s “20% exercise and 80% clean eating/diet”.  But it goes beyond that, our “dirty eating” is triggered by mental/emotional/spiritual lacking.  Similar to how we often confuse hunger with dehydration (meaning we are actually in need of water not food).  I can go more into that in later posts.  This post is about some of my favorite tools to live/lead a healthy life!  So here we go! And some of these are FREE!!

1)  FitBit –This little device (which they have a number of models/styles to choose from) has been attached to my hip–literally–since February 2012!  To date I’ve travel over 6.7K miles!  I love this because it’s a great monitor and motivator to keep me moving throughout my day and not just for my workouts!  The key about sustaining a healthy lifestyle is regular activity not just a hardcore 30-60 minute workout.  This is both a motivator for those busy work days when I’m usually more sedentary and shows me how much more so then usual.  It’s also a great “cheerleader” for those very active days I have!   It’s caught on in my family–my Dad, sister, brother-in-law, three cousins and many friends have their own!  It also allows you the ability to keep yourself accountable with your friends/family online.  

2)  Chopra Center Meditation — I’ve done two of the free 21 day challenges now and loved both of them!  They also offered paid guided meditations and apps.  They help clear my mental clutter and see what’s right in front of me and most important.  I have to admit I don’t get “frazzled” as much any more and this is partially because these challenges allow you to schedule the time to decompress and they guide you towards sustaining the results of their meditations.  

3) Gym Membership — I’m being general here because a gym membership is like a pair of shoes, one style/size doesn’t fit all.  Take the time and do the homework to find the right one for you and your needs.  I’ll admit, I’m a member of 24 Hour Fitness.  I appreciate the convenience and the amenities they offer.  But, there’s no sense in signing up for the one everyone else is if it’s not the right fit for you.  You’ll never go and you’ll end up wasting money.  In fact, perhaps the gym atmosphere all together isn’t your thing…or you are like me and can’t always get there, which leads me to my next favorite thing.

4) & 5) At Home Workouts — I have videos and small equipment (I’m going to mention more than one workout, hence this being two numbers in one).  I’m usually at the gym but there are times I can’t get there.  When that happens I won’t give myself an out but instead another option.  I have a number of different workouts to go to but I like the total body workouts offered in the different BeachBody workouts.  Tony has some great strength and endurance workouts (and NO he doesn’t just do P90X).  My other at home is usually Pilates and/or Yoga.  It’s still one of those workouts that I don’t enjoy doing with a group of people.  So for Pilates I love my Tone and Tighten DVD that I got at my local WeightWatchers which came with some equipment as well!  For yoga I use the PocketYoga app offered for iPad/iPhone.  It’s a guided and timed routine for all levels of yogis!

6) At Home Equipment — Let’s face it, majority of us don’t have room for workout equipment at home and don’t really want an at home gym (I do some day but living in a studio apartment that’s not my reality)!  My go to equipment is the following: yoga mat, kettlebells, bands, and my Gaiam ball/chair.  I’m sitting on the ball/chair as I type this and it’s benefited me in so many ways since I got it!  It’s improved my core while I work, it serves as workout equipment when not being my chair, and my back is much better since I’ve gotten this–I rarely get back/shoulder pain anymore.  The bands are a great alternative to storing weights at home.  For one they are lighter and easier to store!  They come in different tensions to simulate heavier weights and are used in many at home workouts.  Kettlebells can be found at many gyms now as well but I like having my stash at home too.  They are easier to store (in my opinion) vs the regular dumbbells.  They also provide a different kind of weight training workout–think of it like stability training with a weight.  You can do isolated weight training, in addition a lot of the workouts include exercises that work more that one muscle/group at a time which equals more efficient!  And a yoga mat comes in handy for of course your yoga/pilates work but also for any workouts that require you to do floor exercises!.  

7) HydraCoach Water Bottle — I bought mine off of Amazon.com…well I technically got it for Christmas two years ago but I found it there, LOL.  We all have our stash of water bottles (like coffee tumblers) we never use, but this is one I’ve used daily for the past two years!  This water bottle tracks you daily water consumption.  I got it because I always lost track of how many times I’d refill my water bottles and/or glasses.  In addition to, this taught me that I was walking around dehydrated because I was consuming less than my daily goal needed for my body size!  By far one of my favorite products!  I have dropped it (not on purpose), it fits into cup holders, etc. and it’s still by my side daily!  The only thing I’ve had to replace was the mouthpiece and that’s because after two years I wore it out!

8) Journal — Any one that inspires you to go to it daily will do!  I bought my current one off of Amazon but I’ve gotten past ones at Barnes and Noble or other local shops as well.  The purpose of my journal?  Well it’s multi-functional for me!  I track my food/water/activity in my journal but I also write down snippets of what’s happened that day to reflect those choices and then do a weekly reflection of how my week went overall–did I follow Good Health Guidelines, reach my daily water goal, and/or have emotional/stressful day(s)?  It allows me to not only pause and reflect daily/weekly but it offers me the time/space to track that and learn from it.  I can see patterns of good times and struggling times.  

9) Garmin Forerunner — as a runner I have to admit that I’d be lost literally/metaphorically without this!  They come in different styles/models and my Dad even purchased one this past year for himself. Mine is GPS and Heart Rate monitor in one, which is why I got it.  With the training for half marathons I’ve been doing and they on/off road running for it, it’s been a great guide both for miles and my heart rate!

10) CEP Compression Sleeves — my newest addition to my favorites!  In a month I’ve gone from none to four pairs!  They are the one thing I don’t want to take off after my long run days!  They keep you muscles in tip top shape while you are on the go in addition to they are great for recovery as well!  Speaking of recovery, I’m sneaking in one more as a bonus (BonVital) my sport cooling spray.  This was introduced to me by my sports massage therapist and is great for recovery post run!  I pack it in my after race bag for immediate use after I change out of my sweaty clothes.  I reapply after I shower post run as well.  I’ve noticed my recovery to be faster and with little/no soreness.

 

So there you go!!  A few of my Favorite Fitness Things!!!  But remember, they don’t work unless you do!

Wrapping up my Year of the Half Rock n Roll Style!

Wrapping up my Year of the Half Rock n Roll Style!

I still find it hard to believe sometimes that I’ve completed 8 half marathons in a little over more than a year from my first!  As this year comes to a close (and my birthday nears) I’m wrapping up my year with my 9th and final half marathon!  I’ve evolved my walking into jogging into running.  I’ve gone from hoping to finish my first half in under 3 hours (finished 2:35) to my last half finished in 2:02!  I’ve gone from focusing mostly on PRs (personal records) to ENJOYING running!  I’m beyond “half crazy”! LOL

One of my most recent experiences around running really opened my eyes.  I was at a table with some co-workers I was getting to know (beyond email exchanges) and all of them had questions for me on/about running.  It was like I was sitting on a panel for runners and non runners.  The best part, I never once thought “who am I to answer these”, because deep down I’m a runner and my head is catching up to my heart on that!

Running has been one of my best forms of measuring my progressing over the last few years.  For those of you who don’t know where I started here’s the summary: I was well over 340lbs, lost my job/Mom/Grandma within a one month period, and in a general state of feeling lost in the dark.  With no Mom, job, or significant other I had nothing to “fall back on” but myself and my current self was in no shape to help anyone including myself.  I didn’t start off running at 340+ lbs, I started by just putting one foot in front of the other and walking.  My Mom was an avid walker so this also served as a way to connect with her.  As the weight came off (both literally and figuratively) walking became easier and I started to challenge myself with walking/jogging intervals.  In time that turned into running.  At some point though, I had to go outside myself for support and in doing so I found great motivators in family, friends, and social media.  Yes, social media played a part in my weight loss journey.  It’s been via social media that I’ve been able to share my story, meet others on their journey and those who I admire and aspire (running wise) to be like some day!  It was the days I felt I had no where to turn when I’d turn to my SM friends and they’d lift me out of my trenches with no judgement.

I’ve met some AMAZING people through running!  This past month I had the opportunity to meet some of my running idols at the RunRocknRoll #RnRLA (Los Angeles) expo.  People like Dani from WeightOffMyShoulders (fellow WeightWatchers leader), Brian from PavementRunner (who’s a fellow Bay Area runner and a TOTAL ROCKSTAR in my book, ironically we didn’t meet until LA), Linze of SeeSharpRun (super fun/funny guy and never a dull moment when with him), John (who is another rockstar and running #SA2LV this weekend), and last but not least I got to meet some of the @RunRocknRoll team (super cool and committed people who’ve put on some amazing races and included me in them)!  My point to calling these people out?  They don’t need the extra follows trust me, they all have quite a following!  But that they are worth the follow, whether you are a want to be runner, new to running, been running, male/female, East/West Coaster, etc.!  These people cover all the basics and make running fun.  They recognize that it’s about more than PRs but enjoying life and running through it, they pay it forward, and they are inclusive in all they do!  They all inspire/motivate me when I feel like I don’t have anything left to give.

I say all that to say this….

I know it’s been a busy and crazy year and starting this year with doing just my 2nd half ever I’m ending it by completing my 9th!  How apropos that it will be on the same course as many of the above and with @RunRocknRoll!  This post is a reminder to pause through all the hustle and bustle (especially coming up with the holidays) and remember how far you’ve progressed this year.  Change is constant, we often overlook the positive changes we’ve made because of this.  Once upon a time, the #RnRLV was on my bucket list for runs because it usually fell on my birthday weekend.  This year it’s a few weeks earlier, but I feel it’s still a great way to celebrate my life–I’ll be running in a 5K the weekend of my bday in lieu of!

People often ask why I run…I’ve heard a lot of other’s answer this “because I can”, “it keeps me sane”, etc.  And while those all apply to me as well I’d have to honestly answer that I run because it’s a blessing on the life I was graced with.  It’d be like being given the gift of life and not waking up each morning.  I haven’t always had the ability/capability to run, now that I do I won’t take it for granted. This is why I’m ReNewedMe.  I couldn’t go back to what I knew as “normal” and in turn I created my new normal and realized change is good and not as scary as I often saw it to be.

Mind Over Platter–A Food Lesson Learned Running

How is it that when I want to be mindful that I think about everything else except what I want to be focusing on?  BUT when I just want to be “brainless” I’m all of a sudden very aware of what I’m doing, feeling, thinking, etc?! What gives?!?!

This didn’t come up out of no where.  A couple of weeks ago I was blessed with the opportunity to attend a Mindful Eating Event hosted by FoodieMcBody.   It was a great and very eye opening event.  I was there with a room full of about 10 other people and I realized I felt very alone.  We ate in silence without eye contact and I realized that I don’t normally do this because I didn’t like the feeling of feeling alone.  I’m not going to give it all away, I HIGHLY recommend if you are ever in the Bay Area when she hosts this, that you attend in person!  Of course you leave something like that feeling empowered and inspired to want to live the rest of your life like this–eat by candle light every night, sit down to dine, one bite at a time, put down your utensil after each bite, etc.  But reality is, that doesn’t happen!  I ate about a cup of food that night after have a very full and active day and I felt completely satisfied.  For the next two weeks, my mind felt like I should eat myself out of house and home!  Often not even remembering how much and what I even put in my mouth–let alone how it tasted–kinda like my eating out of the peanut butter jar yesterday!

Then I had 10 miles to run last Sunday–during which I was very mindful and aware of how my legs, lungs and (in general) whole body felt while running.  I heard every pound of my feet on the pavement, every breath in and out, and person pass me along the trail.  I felt every tightness in my calves, quads, hamstrings, and burn in my lungs.  Starting out, I could have sworn I heard every tick of time going by–SLOWLY…much like my speed.  And then I thought…”How is it that I’m so aware of all this while I’m running but I’m so unaware when I eat?”

Have you ever thought about or asked yourself that?  Am I alone here too?  Don’t get me wrong, I’m NOT trying to deter anyone who’s thought about trying running to not try!  I LOVE running and there isn’t anything I’d rather do (I think that’s pretty evident being that I’m approaching on completing my 7th in 14 months this weekend)!  Running is very much a mental activity while at the same time not.  I have been on runs where I literally have almost closed my eyes while running because I’ve gotten so relaxed–head to toe, inside and out.  It’s like meditating but easier–in the sense of hitting that happy non scattered place in your head.  In that sense, it’s that aspect of running that I’ve become “addicted” to.  After completing my first someone asked me how I liked it and how I was feeling now.  When I paused to think about my answer, I realized I hadn’t had a long run since my half and I missed that “happy place” that long runs take your mind to!  I say it in jest but it’s kinda true, running gives you a sense of a high that you really keep wanting to get back to.  Training for long runs teaches you how to physically get there but once that becomes a natural movement for you–knowing you pace–you are able to get to that quiet place and enjoy the run!

So I guess I’ve kinda answered my question here…In order to be as mindful eating as I am a runner, I need to set up those routines so I don’t over think so much and can just sit down (that may be the hardest part to implement right now) and enjoy my meal.  I can eat until satisfied and not be concerned that some child somewhere else is going to starve because I didn’t join the “clean plate club” that meal.  I can stop and enjoy my food and not be worried, sad, or concerned about what’s going on outside of that very moment.  I can enjoy and learn to stop, pause, and be aware/present in that very moment and OK with whatever may happen at said moment.

I think to help, I’m going to continue to read up on this with the book Savor by Thich Nhat Hinh which informs readers about mindful living and how it relates/impacts our eating.  I may be at a point of maintaining my weight, but I know what got me to my highest…it wasn’t ONE piece of cake, pizza or bag of chips.  It was my relationship with food and the practice of eating/dinning.  That fear of the unknown–as small or simple as it may actually be.  That not wanting to feel the pain, sadness, anger, etc so turning to food to numb it because mentally it was unbearable.  Running has taught me more than just how to run (because I never was good at it…I nearly passed out after my mile run to earn my Presidential Fitness award in 8th grade!); it’s taught me how to be mindful, present and aware.  Running has taught me how to feel, be ok with what I feel, and that I’ll survive whatever it is I feel.

The view from my last 8 mile run in San Mateo and the thought I had while approaching that turn.

The view from my last 8 mile run in San Mateo and the thought I had while approaching that turn.