Often times when I’m out on my longer runs I witness seemingly happy families and couples–old and young. They’re in the parks celebrating, playing, walking and enjoying life together. Early on in my running journey this used to gnaw at … Continue reading
Biggest and most challenging project I’ll likely ever take on–myself. *SIGH* Don’t get me wrong, that’s not a bad sigh nor is that a complaint. I’m a worthy project to spend that kind of time and effort on. Easy is … Continue reading
How about an update to this crazy no sugar thing I committed myself to?!
There’s a foggy haze that’s been lifted and I feel like I have something substantial to actually write about. So during this “sugar detox” I’ve found some spiritual clarifty and practices. I’ve gotten back to and better at meditating, I actually went out and tried hot yoga (thanks to my WeightWatchers friend Lula and my BFF Katie for the nudge), and I realized just how foggy I’d been operatering these last few months.
During my rebirth of my meditation practice, I came across this excerpt and felt the need to share.
The Final Obstacle Is Us
Then why do we still battle the lingering doubts and prejudices in our own minds that convince us we are not worthy—not good enough, not strong enough, not talented enough, not brave enough?
Why are we holding ourselves back from greatness?
It’s from a Deepak Chopra daily reflection that I did a while back. In cleaning out my inbox (yes, I do stuff like that) I came across it again and re-read it. This speaks so much truth to me. This whole process is really revealing how much I’ve been holding myself back. I don’t sit here wallowing in regret about it, on the contrary! I’m actually grateful for my new found clarity! I didn’t know I was walking around in a fog. I didn’t realize how much I’d been missing out on by being in that state of being. I was more like a zombie then human. I’d wake up, eat, work some, eat, want to nap (sometimes did), work a bit more, eat, and then sleep again. It sounds depressing just reading that as I type it out! To have a day like that, not a big deal in my book. But to have every day like that, is NOT good! But I wasn’t aware enough to realize that that is what I was doing.
It’s no wondering I wasn’t happy with myself. It’s no wonder I put on 15 lbs over my goal weight–note that’s over my goal weight, that’s not based on the lowest I got down to. Yes, I’m human and until I become superhuman or really accept and deal with my faults I’ll always fight this battle. But with where I’m at now I feel like I’m in a place where I can do that. Accepting you’re imperfections is easier said then done. Actually, it’s almost as challenging to admit my imperfections–step one I guess.
We all “know” we aren’t perfection but who actually talks about it? And why is it so hard to talk about anyways. I just saw in the news how we are creating narciscistic kids but what about ourselves. We start a petition because we don’t think it’s ok that Facebook has an emoji that allows someone to admit that they are feeling fat? Why? Who cares if that’s how they feel? I feel fat sometimes–usually it’s when I’ve over indulged on food. No we are being censored on admitting our feelings? And the other thing…with this recent “International Womens Day” (do guys even get a day?) when did this start and why? It’s like the feminist’s (uh oh, I’m going on a rant and I’m sure I’m going to get comments/emails about this but too bad it’s my blog I can say what I want) own Valentine’s Day! Why do we need ONE day to celebrate ourselves as women? Why do we need one day to “come together” and celebrate the amazing women in this world? Why isn’t that happening every day? Oh I know, because the other 364 days a year we are sitting in front of our screens and judging each other. I’ve seen “plus sized” models go through fat shaming and celebration all in the same day. I’ve seen thin women get praised for eating indulgently in public and shamed in the same day. I’ve seen a self empowered corporate excecutive female get praised and criticized all in the same day for being a career minded female who also wants to be a mom. What are we doing to each other? Are we so unhappy with ourselves that we have to bring down each other too? This does go back to my original point about admiting and accepting our own imperfections. In today’s society you can’t be too thin or too fat because there’s going to be a group that comes together and bashes you for it. BE YOU! WORRY ABOUT YOU! I don’t mean that in a selfish, self centered way but in a Michael Jackson “take a look in the mirror” way.
We are holding ourselves back and each other by living the way we are. Let a kid get a gift they didn’t ask for on a list so they learn humility and gratitude. Let a student fail at a problem so they can learn how to get it right on their own. Let a baby fall while learning to walk so they learn how to get back up and try again. Let a woman, man, girl, boy, etc. learn to pave their own path so that they may reap the reward for achieving their goal. There’s always a reaction for every action we take–they may be unintended but it’s going to happen none the less. What’s the better option–“Bandaid” the problem or find a solution? I prefer the solution, personally!
So that’s why I’m sitting here in bed (at 915pm PT) and I’m ok with that. Label me the old lady who’s in bed before some kids are. I don’t care. I know that I need sleep in order to function well and with this jump ahead an hour, “performing well” isn’t where I’m at yet. I know I’m a littler bitter that I don’t wake up at 6am to daylight anymore because of daylight savins. But the whole government isn’t going to change that just to please me–nor they should! Plus, I’ll adjust and get there. I’ll be happy when the weather starts to warm and I can go for an evening run after work outside because it’s brighter later now. I’m just a little immature about it at the moment–I’ll get over–I learned that lesson young too and I’m better for it!
So what’s this rant (yep, I’ll admit that) have to do with inner reflection, imperfection, and appreciation? We are all individuals part of a greater piece/system. My place in this world effects others who come in contact with me–physically or socially. I know that if I’m not offering my best self through taking care of myself first, i’m weakening the system as a whole. So yes, some times I just suck it up and get up and do what I have to because the world isn’t going to stop revolving if I don’t want to get out of bed. Plus, being in that state isn’t going to make me feel any better. Getting up is hard sometimes, but it’s for the best in the long run.
I’m seeing clearly now that taking care of myself–first and foremost–allows the system as a whole to be better. It allows me to offer my best self to those I love and care for. I’m not an immortal superhero who can do everything, all the time, forever. I’m perfectly imperfection me. What I can’t do well, someone else can and I’m good to delegate to them. I was put on this earth for a reason and I’ll work at vocation versus trying to fulfill other’s!
Be ok and accepting of who you are and why you are who you are. Accept your imperfections as openly as you accept your assets–they all make up who you entirely are anyways. I’ll share this one last bit with you. Someone in my WeightWatchers meeting this week said something so simple and yet so profound. She was going on a cruise and worried about making the healthy choices with the all you can eat options. A friend told her to just enjoy herself AND (this is the part I love) to let enough be enough!
“Whether you’ve seen angels floating around your bedroom or just found a ray of hope at a lonely moment, choosing to believe that something unseen is caring for you can be a life-shifting exercise.” ~Martha Beck I’ve been reading a … Continue reading
So as a kid we always had breakfast for dinner on Shrove Tuesday. That’s how i knew it growing up “Shrove Tuesday”, the Tuesday before Ash Wednesday. I did grow up Catholic so I partially fasted for Lent by observing the no meat on Ash Wednesday and all the Fridays. We didn’t call it “Fat Tuesday” or Mardis Gras but I knew others who did, and took it for all basically being the same–splurge before the fasting/cleansing period of Lent.
My Mom would go all out for this breakfast/dinner feast! We’d get home from school that afternoon and the griddle for the pancakes would already be set up. She’d have a fresh dozen eggs in the fridge for us and fresh bacon from the local butcher! Sometimes she’d even make fresh hashbrowns and fresh squeezed orange juice! It felt like a bigger weekend breakfast on a weekday most times! It was like a holiday breakfast on a random Tuesday night! I have very fond memories of those evenings.
Now a days we’ve shifted to taking our “brinner” out to a restaurant. Something just isn’t the same without her here to do it all with/for. The griddle hasn’t seen the light of day for almost a decade. It wasn’t so much a day of being gluttoness but a day of gathering and feasting together. We didn’t go “hog wild” all day long.
Today, my Dad and I did breakfast for lunch instead since I had dinner plans elsewhere. I love breakfast any time of day but I’m pretty standard and keep it usually to an egg white omelet with fixings and wheat toast, dry. But I was feeling nostaglic and this is the one day I always go all out for my breakfast not at breakfast meal. I ordered the pancake breakfast–two buttermilk pancakes with eggs (whites), and bacon! YUMMY! With a busy morning of work and calls, the time away from my desk, visiting with my Dad was more than welcoming! Even the walk down the hill in the chilly California weather was welcoming!
Afterwards I wondered though, what’s the real meaning of the term “Shrove Tuesday”–especially the shrove part. So, typical Dad response, I Googled it!
This moveable festival is determined by Easter. The expression “Shrove Tuesday” comes from the word shrive, meaning “absolve“. Shrove Tuesday is observed by many Christians, including Anglicans, Lutherans, Methodists and Roman Catholics, who “make a special point of self-examination, of considering what wrongs they need to repent, and what amendments of life or areas of spiritual growth they especially need to ask God’s help in dealing with.”
The part of the excerpt that stood out the most to me was the part at the end where it states that people make a conscious effort of self reflection–what they’ve done, what needs to change, and what areas they need help in. I’ve been looking to do this, looking to find the time and effort to do just this! 2014 was challenging on many levels–physically, emotionally, personally and professionally. I started 2015 with renewed spirit but not feeling completely in control and back on a good/healthy track.
I’m looking to change this. I feel like I’ve been taking short cuts by looking for answers everywhere but to myself. So as we wrap up this Shrove Tuesday, I’d like to renew me. For a while I was doing something new and positive every Lent instead of giving something up. But this year, I’m going to do a combination of these two practices. I’ve found myself craving sugars and the not so good for me carbs. I know “we can eat anything in moderation” but these things really do react with my body. But much like a drug, they can be hard to quit and moreso when there’s an emotional connection there. So for Lent I’ll be weening myself off of processed sugars/sweetners and the carbs that my body doesn’t like–white flours, bread, etc. My addition of something positive will be my re-implementation of “me time”–quiet, self reflection time. I’m also adding a “Move It, Love It” aspect to this by increasing my activity. I did just sign up for my 20th half marathon after all!
I commit to this and to myself for 40 days, beginning Ash Wednesday. It’s 40 days of taking care of myself…I worked so hard for so long to let go and forgive myself for all the burdens, hurts, and wrong doings I was “carrying” in weight for decades. I’m not going to “repack”! I’ve learned. I’m going to forgive myself, no guilt, and move on. Get back to my basics…self love, care, and patience.
I’ve seen and heard a lot of inspiring things over the course of the last couple of days and while I may be tired from the full schedule that I’ve been managing, I’m smart enough to know that I’m seeing and hearing all these things for a reason! I’ve said it before and still believe “EVERYTHING in our lives happens for a reason and exactly when it’s supposed to happen.”
I’ve been working on this post for over a week now…Recently, I saw a good one “REAL > perfection”. Why do I think this is so great? Simple, there’s always a part of me that gets caught up in the whirlwind and strives for perfection. But that’s not what it’s about and SURPRISE–I’m NOT perfect!! The REAL me is far from perfect and perfect isn’t even realistic, so why even attempt at making it part of my goal(s). I could sit here and point the finger at others, but that’s not realistic. I’m the one who makes the choice. And if I feel out of control then that’s a result of the choices I’ve made.
These last 12 months have been my first that my goal has been to maintain my weight and not lose it. What a roller coaster this has been! I learned quickly, that I knew how to lose but I had no idea what it was like to maintain a healthy weight. At first I dropped some more, then I maintained my goal weight for a bit, but after that a series of events happened and I’ve been in a gain mode for a while. Maybe it’s all the traveling I’ve been doing this year, maybe not. Maybe it’s the personal struggle of trusting myself and my abilities, maybe not. But even if it is due to all that, my goal has always been to live and lead a healthy life. That involves being able to transition when those times arise in my life. Making my new healthy habits fit. How do we do that?
I said it in the beginning of the year and I’m realizing how today…2014 was a year of challenges. Don’t get me wrong, challenges aren’t a bad thing. They change us and often for the better–making us stronger, better, and wiser. Those things that push us out of our comfort zone are what expand our comfort zone until it no longer exists. I’ve done this before. For example, I started this journey by walking to be active. Then I tried going faster little by little. I worked my way up to jogging a mile without stopping and I still remember to this day how great that felt…I ran, WITHOUT stopping, a whole mile! Then I ran/walked my first organized 5K. I’d intermittently throw in some 10Ks to kinda prove that I could do more. Finally someone said to me, “You know you could run a half.” I looked at her and thought she’d lost her mind or wasn’t talking directly to me! LOL….love this woman though, then and still now! She told me I could and I showed her (and myself) that I was able! It’s the same in life. Constant cycle of doubting ability (or assuring a confined comfort zone) and breaking those barriers down. I’m realizing that I’m still going through these cycles and will until I no longer have barriers/a comfort zone to break through. Is that realistic? Maybe. I may not live that long to find out though as it could take many many years to accomplish.
There’s another great quote that comes to mine as I type this…”It’s not who you are that holds you back; it’s who you think you aren’t.” **I’ll pause to let you ponder that one** OK, ready? It got to a point for me when I realized the more people would challenge me to do bigger and better things. The more people would start to see this new me and the potential that I was (apparently) exuding, would tell me and encourage me to think/do bigger and bolder goals. It was this point in my life that I recognized that I was the one holding myself back and I was doing it every day, sometimes multiple times a day. How? Every time the words “I can’t…” came out of my mouth, I was doubting my own abilities. I was saying couldn’t even before I tried. The day I realized that was the last day those words ever came out of my mouth again. It took a while to stop thinking them–especially when a certain trainer would have me do atomic push-ups on the TRX. But it was challenges like that which made me stronger. All this spread beyond my fitness and strength goals.
But since that peak, I feel as if I’ve lost sights of goal setting and achieving. When I was losing there was always a goal out there–lose weight, hit my goal weight. But since then…since then I forgot that I need to now set regular goals. That this journey with my weight and health is never over and always present in my life. That every choice I make ripples into the next and they all affect my wellbeing. Now that I’ve said this, I need to focus forward and work towards a maintainance lifestyle. Which requires regular self assessments, healthy choices all around, positive thinking, living life active and reflection/me time to rest and recoup. My focus first is assessment which I’ll address in my next blog post. Followed by a blog post about healthy choices, and so on. This is what my “Quest for a RE-ReNewedMe will entail. This is my choice, I will post about it (all–good, bad, and ugly) because I’m REAL and far from perfect. And because the ultimate goal is really about continuing to strive and become a better version of my self while living my vocation to help others–BALANCE.
In Good Health,
@ReNewedMe, aka Dre
Hi All! I wanted to invite you to attend a Mindful Eating workshop that I’ll be hosting at our local Weight Watcher Center in San Bruno! We have 5 spots left! If you are interested, please email me ASAP at … Continue reading
With the holidays upon us I was recently asked to share a few of my favorite fit things! If you don’t know me here’s a synopsis…I’ve personally and naturally shed 170+ lbs (with no desire to gain them back). I’m a proponent of an overall well being–meaning that in order to truly live a healthy life we must address all aspects of health (mental/emotional, spiritual and physical). Health is an inside out way of life; we must treat our inside well to reflect a healthy outside. You’ve seen this probably when people post things like it’s “20% exercise and 80% clean eating/diet”. But it goes beyond that, our “dirty eating” is triggered by mental/emotional/spiritual lacking. Similar to how we often confuse hunger with dehydration (meaning we are actually in need of water not food). I can go more into that in later posts. This post is about some of my favorite tools to live/lead a healthy life! So here we go! And some of these are FREE!!
1) FitBit –This little device (which they have a number of models/styles to choose from) has been attached to my hip–literally–since February 2012! To date I’ve travel over 6.7K miles! I love this because it’s a great monitor and motivator to keep me moving throughout my day and not just for my workouts! The key about sustaining a healthy lifestyle is regular activity not just a hardcore 30-60 minute workout. This is both a motivator for those busy work days when I’m usually more sedentary and shows me how much more so then usual. It’s also a great “cheerleader” for those very active days I have! It’s caught on in my family–my Dad, sister, brother-in-law, three cousins and many friends have their own! It also allows you the ability to keep yourself accountable with your friends/family online.
2) Chopra Center Meditation — I’ve done two of the free 21 day challenges now and loved both of them! They also offered paid guided meditations and apps. They help clear my mental clutter and see what’s right in front of me and most important. I have to admit I don’t get “frazzled” as much any more and this is partially because these challenges allow you to schedule the time to decompress and they guide you towards sustaining the results of their meditations.
3) Gym Membership — I’m being general here because a gym membership is like a pair of shoes, one style/size doesn’t fit all. Take the time and do the homework to find the right one for you and your needs. I’ll admit, I’m a member of 24 Hour Fitness. I appreciate the convenience and the amenities they offer. But, there’s no sense in signing up for the one everyone else is if it’s not the right fit for you. You’ll never go and you’ll end up wasting money. In fact, perhaps the gym atmosphere all together isn’t your thing…or you are like me and can’t always get there, which leads me to my next favorite thing.
4) & 5) At Home Workouts — I have videos and small equipment (I’m going to mention more than one workout, hence this being two numbers in one). I’m usually at the gym but there are times I can’t get there. When that happens I won’t give myself an out but instead another option. I have a number of different workouts to go to but I like the total body workouts offered in the different BeachBody workouts. Tony has some great strength and endurance workouts (and NO he doesn’t just do P90X). My other at home is usually Pilates and/or Yoga. It’s still one of those workouts that I don’t enjoy doing with a group of people. So for Pilates I love my Tone and Tighten DVD that I got at my local WeightWatchers which came with some equipment as well! For yoga I use the PocketYoga app offered for iPad/iPhone. It’s a guided and timed routine for all levels of yogis!
6) At Home Equipment — Let’s face it, majority of us don’t have room for workout equipment at home and don’t really want an at home gym (I do some day but living in a studio apartment that’s not my reality)! My go to equipment is the following: yoga mat, kettlebells, bands, and my Gaiam ball/chair. I’m sitting on the ball/chair as I type this and it’s benefited me in so many ways since I got it! It’s improved my core while I work, it serves as workout equipment when not being my chair, and my back is much better since I’ve gotten this–I rarely get back/shoulder pain anymore. The bands are a great alternative to storing weights at home. For one they are lighter and easier to store! They come in different tensions to simulate heavier weights and are used in many at home workouts. Kettlebells can be found at many gyms now as well but I like having my stash at home too. They are easier to store (in my opinion) vs the regular dumbbells. They also provide a different kind of weight training workout–think of it like stability training with a weight. You can do isolated weight training, in addition a lot of the workouts include exercises that work more that one muscle/group at a time which equals more efficient! And a yoga mat comes in handy for of course your yoga/pilates work but also for any workouts that require you to do floor exercises!.
7) HydraCoach Water Bottle — I bought mine off of Amazon.com…well I technically got it for Christmas two years ago but I found it there, LOL. We all have our stash of water bottles (like coffee tumblers) we never use, but this is one I’ve used daily for the past two years! This water bottle tracks you daily water consumption. I got it because I always lost track of how many times I’d refill my water bottles and/or glasses. In addition to, this taught me that I was walking around dehydrated because I was consuming less than my daily goal needed for my body size! By far one of my favorite products! I have dropped it (not on purpose), it fits into cup holders, etc. and it’s still by my side daily! The only thing I’ve had to replace was the mouthpiece and that’s because after two years I wore it out!
8) Journal — Any one that inspires you to go to it daily will do! I bought my current one off of Amazon but I’ve gotten past ones at Barnes and Noble or other local shops as well. The purpose of my journal? Well it’s multi-functional for me! I track my food/water/activity in my journal but I also write down snippets of what’s happened that day to reflect those choices and then do a weekly reflection of how my week went overall–did I follow Good Health Guidelines, reach my daily water goal, and/or have emotional/stressful day(s)? It allows me to not only pause and reflect daily/weekly but it offers me the time/space to track that and learn from it. I can see patterns of good times and struggling times.
9) Garmin Forerunner — as a runner I have to admit that I’d be lost literally/metaphorically without this! They come in different styles/models and my Dad even purchased one this past year for himself. Mine is GPS and Heart Rate monitor in one, which is why I got it. With the training for half marathons I’ve been doing and they on/off road running for it, it’s been a great guide both for miles and my heart rate!
10) CEP Compression Sleeves — my newest addition to my favorites! In a month I’ve gone from none to four pairs! They are the one thing I don’t want to take off after my long run days! They keep you muscles in tip top shape while you are on the go in addition to they are great for recovery as well! Speaking of recovery, I’m sneaking in one more as a bonus (BonVital) my sport cooling spray. This was introduced to me by my sports massage therapist and is great for recovery post run! I pack it in my after race bag for immediate use after I change out of my sweaty clothes. I reapply after I shower post run as well. I’ve noticed my recovery to be faster and with little/no soreness.
So there you go!! A few of my Favorite Fitness Things!!! But remember, they don’t work unless you do!
I still find it hard to believe sometimes that I’ve completed 8 half marathons in a little over more than a year from my first! As this year comes to a close (and my birthday nears) I’m wrapping up my year with my 9th and final half marathon! I’ve evolved my walking into jogging into running. I’ve gone from hoping to finish my first half in under 3 hours (finished 2:35) to my last half finished in 2:02! I’ve gone from focusing mostly on PRs (personal records) to ENJOYING running! I’m beyond “half crazy”! LOL
One of my most recent experiences around running really opened my eyes. I was at a table with some co-workers I was getting to know (beyond email exchanges) and all of them had questions for me on/about running. It was like I was sitting on a panel for runners and non runners. The best part, I never once thought “who am I to answer these”, because deep down I’m a runner and my head is catching up to my heart on that!
Running has been one of my best forms of measuring my progressing over the last few years. For those of you who don’t know where I started here’s the summary: I was well over 340lbs, lost my job/Mom/Grandma within a one month period, and in a general state of feeling lost in the dark. With no Mom, job, or significant other I had nothing to “fall back on” but myself and my current self was in no shape to help anyone including myself. I didn’t start off running at 340+ lbs, I started by just putting one foot in front of the other and walking. My Mom was an avid walker so this also served as a way to connect with her. As the weight came off (both literally and figuratively) walking became easier and I started to challenge myself with walking/jogging intervals. In time that turned into running. At some point though, I had to go outside myself for support and in doing so I found great motivators in family, friends, and social media. Yes, social media played a part in my weight loss journey. It’s been via social media that I’ve been able to share my story, meet others on their journey and those who I admire and aspire (running wise) to be like some day! It was the days I felt I had no where to turn when I’d turn to my SM friends and they’d lift me out of my trenches with no judgement.
I’ve met some AMAZING people through running! This past month I had the opportunity to meet some of my running idols at the RunRocknRoll #RnRLA (Los Angeles) expo. People like Dani from WeightOffMyShoulders (fellow WeightWatchers leader), Brian from PavementRunner (who’s a fellow Bay Area runner and a TOTAL ROCKSTAR in my book, ironically we didn’t meet until LA), Linze of SeeSharpRun (super fun/funny guy and never a dull moment when with him), John (who is another rockstar and running #SA2LV this weekend), and last but not least I got to meet some of the @RunRocknRoll team (super cool and committed people who’ve put on some amazing races and included me in them)! My point to calling these people out? They don’t need the extra follows trust me, they all have quite a following! But that they are worth the follow, whether you are a want to be runner, new to running, been running, male/female, East/West Coaster, etc.! These people cover all the basics and make running fun. They recognize that it’s about more than PRs but enjoying life and running through it, they pay it forward, and they are inclusive in all they do! They all inspire/motivate me when I feel like I don’t have anything left to give.
I say all that to say this….
I know it’s been a busy and crazy year and starting this year with doing just my 2nd half ever I’m ending it by completing my 9th! How apropos that it will be on the same course as many of the above and with @RunRocknRoll! This post is a reminder to pause through all the hustle and bustle (especially coming up with the holidays) and remember how far you’ve progressed this year. Change is constant, we often overlook the positive changes we’ve made because of this. Once upon a time, the #RnRLV was on my bucket list for runs because it usually fell on my birthday weekend. This year it’s a few weeks earlier, but I feel it’s still a great way to celebrate my life–I’ll be running in a 5K the weekend of my bday in lieu of!
People often ask why I run…I’ve heard a lot of other’s answer this “because I can”, “it keeps me sane”, etc. And while those all apply to me as well I’d have to honestly answer that I run because it’s a blessing on the life I was graced with. It’d be like being given the gift of life and not waking up each morning. I haven’t always had the ability/capability to run, now that I do I won’t take it for granted. This is why I’m ReNewedMe. I couldn’t go back to what I knew as “normal” and in turn I created my new normal and realized change is good and not as scary as I often saw it to be.
I LOVE #TransformationTuesday! I’ll admit, when I first saw this hashtag, I thought how egotistical are these people! But I realized that I was bitter and upset–not with the world–but myself. Now I recognize and realize that #TT isn’t about … Continue reading