Don’t miss 2012

Sitting here at the airport during the holiday season reminds me of time passing. People hurry along and in here that seems like that’s all that happens. But when you stop hurrying yourself and observe your surroundings, you’ll notice a lot more–a mother seeing her son off to deployment, a child on its first trip, a mourning soul in town for family, business people trying to jumpstart our economy, a young couple taking that next step….

Life happens here.  The lighting and walls may not change much but a lot of change happens here. If you just stop to take a look, you’ll see what you are missing.

What have you missed today, this week, this month, or even this year–doesnt it feel like we just started 2011?  Newsflash–2012 is banging on the door!!  That being said (fr someone who doesn’t make new years resolutions) what are you doing this year?  What’s happening right now that will influence your 2012 life goals?

Stop and reflect–if this isnt something you normally do it may feel awkward or weird but once you really try, you’ll find great reward in doing this. Just stop. That’s all it really takes. Stop running around and just observe–yourself and the world/life happening around you.   You may be surprised to see how much you are missing.  Don’t analyze, just observe. If you need a focus to quiet your stirring mind–focus on your breathing.  I’m not saying you need to close your eyes and “OM”. Just use your breath as something to focus on to really stop–most of us criticize children for not being able to sit still but we cant do that as adults!

So if I can influence your 2012 in one way, I hope it’s this….stop and take in all the life happening around you, reflect once in a while on what you observe, and be grateful for the blessings you find in it all.

I hope you all had a healthy and blessed 2011–I wish you all the best for 2012!!

Happy, Safe & Healthy New Year!!


Good night 29, Good Morning to 30

Tonight I say good night to 29, to wake up to my first (of many, I hope) good morning to 30!

The past week has been a mix of emotions for me.  Two pieces of AMAZING good news from two very dear friends, another holiday without my mom, frustration of being in a car accident on Black Friday, hope/faith from a new book, the heartache of not being able to celebrate my big birthday with two very special people…. At the end of the day, week, month….gratitude for being able to sit here and type this on the eve of my 30th birthday. 

I started the celebration by treating my closet/nearest/dearest women in my life to a spa day. Later that night I was (happily, to a degree) the fifth wheel at a fabulous dinner with my sister, brother-in-law, my best friend, and her fiance!  I woke up to coffee with my dad to recap the day’s events and ended a productive day with a lovely invite for dinner from family.  I’m spending the birthday just how I imagined–surrounded by loved ones and happy by treating others to something nice. 

I’m someone numb though.  I feel blessed to be here doing all this with all these wonderful people.  And yet some part of me feels numb.  30 was one of those birthdays you imagine hitting one day but don’t really realize you got there until it’s starring you in the face!  At least that’s how it happened for me.  We make plans with big accomplishments and milestones to have hit by this point, but we can only plan life to an extent.  I never planned to be unemployed for a year, to be in a long distance relationship, to be in school, to be here without my mom to celebrate with….but to the same point, I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be–in accordance with God’s plan.  That’s something I can and do appreciate, accept, understand.

I’m grateful for my first 30 years of my life and excited for the nest 30!  So good night 29…

Moving up and on…

So I’ve been in a funk all week.  My usual busy routine has been lack luster and near non-existent.  I was excited that this would be my final year of my 20s.  But something snuck up on me and now I’d rather just not go crazy for the day.  I’ve always been a HUGE fan of my birthdays but I’m just not feeling it this year. 

NO, it’s not the number that’s really bothering me–it’s just another number anyways, I could care less.  Getting older is part of life you can run all you want but there’s no running from it. 

When I confided in a friend about this feeling she asked what I thought it was that was bothering me.  I guess it’s a few things really.  The minimal one being, I plan for a living there’s something not as fun about it anymore and I really didn’t feel like putting the effort into planning my birthday event(s) this year.  The second being the missing people in my life to celebrate it with.  For one, I’d never have imagined that I wouldn’t get to celebrate my “big 3-0” without the woman who gave it to me.  It weighs on my heart to know that I don’t get to physically celebrate with my mom anymore.  The second (and I don’t fault him for this at all, we are not “well off” and in a matter of a month we’ll have seen each other twice) but the downfall of being in a long distance relationship is the lack of physical presence that you get at points in the relationship.  I wouldn’t trade him for ANYTHING, I love him forever and always…but this is a time when the long distance parts sucks. 

So add those all up and my butt has been lazy all week–factor in my dad getting sick with the flu while visiting my grandpa and me getting into a car accident the day after Thanksgiving and I’m all out of positive attitude.  It’s not to say that my gratitude is lacking–it’s not.  I’m beyond grateful that I’m getting to see my 30th birthday as I know there are many in this world who haven’t.  I’m grateful to have had a wonderful loving mother for 26 years of my life.  I’m grateful to have AMAZING friends and family who love and care for me day in and day out.  I’m grateful to be able to host some of my nearest and dearest friends on Saturday to celebrate my 30th.  I’m grateful that no one was seriously injured in the accident.  I’m grateful that (although not a pleasant experience) dad only had the flu.  I’m grateful to be a healthy 30 year old (and now an INSURED one, just in case).  I’m grateful for the new clear vision that I’ll get to begin my 30s with!  Above all I’m grateful for the abundance of LOVE in my life. 

So I may be in a funk now…but maybe this is just the “calm before the storm” and I’ll snap out of it.  But until then I know it’s ok to feel the way I am and will deal with it–sure to wrap it all up by the time my birthday rolls around (I only get 4 more days anyway)!

Happy birthday to all the Sagitarians out there!