Endings and Beginnings…

I recently started my masters program…I’ve been wanting to take this program since 2001 when I was still an undergrad student.  It’s an adult learning program so the average age of their students is about 42.  Needless to say, I’m well under that average.  When I say in on my first class in 2001 and observed the students I just knew that I wanted to and was meant to take that program.  I wanted to take it right after I finished my TUG degree.  I was talked out of it by the staff.  See I worked with them.  I was the student worker there.  I didn’t necessarily get what they were talking about in their class mtgs but I was intrigued to learn more.  7am wake up for a TUG student on a weekend wasn’t common but I was happy to work the weekends when this program was meeting. 

Needless to say, “life happened” and I didn’t start the program until now.  Even at that My original intention was to start in January of this year, then May, and didn’t get to start until September.  But one thing I have learned over the years is that everything in life happens for a reason, and when it happens is when it is supposed to happen….it can’t be (and more importantly shouldn’t be) forced to happen sooner.

So here I am…in the thick of it–so to speak–and I’m completely overwhelmed.  But yet at the same time, I know I’m where I am supposed to be.  I know that I’m supposed to be in this program right now with this group of people.  So now what?  Now is when I need to put my learning into action.  I need to except that with this start there is an ending. This isn’t a time when I just supposed to keep adding to my plate.  Balance is key in order to be successful here..therefore…I’m learning to balance.  My OCP tendencies are being put to the test.  I need to let go…ending is ok…letting go and moving forward is a good thing.  Letting go doesn’t mean that I ever forget.  Closing doors has usually been more of a hand holding procedure for me–it either gets slammed in my face and I learn to deal with it or someone helps me close that door.  Well in this instance I’m on my own.  There are a few doors in my life that I need to go ahead and close…and know that it’s ok that they are closing. 

I have some AMAZING new beginnings on my horizon…I see them and am excited for them.  But I will never be truly open to them if I don’t go ahead and deal with these doors.  It’s time to deal with the doors and close them. 

Don’t be afraid to address the doors and know that you will always carry the memories of those doors….find comfort in knowing that with the closing of those doors a weight is lifted form you and new windows (and doors) are opened to you.  And with the closing of those doors you can truly give of your entire self to those new beginnings.

I just want to thank my new classmates for their support in helping me through this process…and their patience with me in doing so.