I know for most of you tech geeks, HD refers to “high def” but in this case I’m referring to “hard drive.” More specifically I’m talking about my mental hard drive. It crashed today!! I’m mean full on crash! Smoke coming out of the ears, tears out of the eyes and immediate shut down. Tried preventative prior to the crash by relaxing on the couch upon my arrival home and then taking a nice relaxing shower with candles and music but no such luck on a save!
At approximately 5:15pm on Wednesday, September 16, 2009 (Feliz dia de independencia, to all my Mexican friends!) my mental hard drive crashed-in my parents’ house and in the care/presence of my Dad. Poor Dad….there’s a mess I’m sure he never thought he would have to deal with! Mom was always there to take the brunt of those. Not to say he was never willing-no, no, no….Dad was always ready and willing but I being a girl…ok a girly girl….would default to Mom to help in this department.
You know those days, and now as we are older (sorry guys but it’s the facts of life) we can foresee usually what time of the month we will have this mental crash. Well, me knowing this but also knowing that so much has happened in the last three weeks alone felt that God was testing me yet again. Testing me to see how much I can handle. Testing me to see if the path I am on is really and truly the path that I want to be traveling down. I said it before school started; I wasn’t going to let anything or anyone stand in my way. I was going to finish this semester and then start my MA in Leadership in January and then be locked into SMC for the next three years with two Masters Programs and a credential program.
Let me tell you, God (and whoever else is out there) has had no problem testing me to really push me to see if this is what I want! There is a quote that I’ve clutched to over the past year and really believe. Mother Theresa said it, “I know God wouldn’t give me anything that I couldn’t handle. I just wish He didn’t trust me so much.” Last year we know why I took to that quote. This year I thought, well hell if I was able to get through what last year threw at me then I can get through anything. While I still believe this, I also know that life will not be a cake walk for me either. I have worked long and hard to get what I want and will continue to do so. No free rides for me. Breaks? Yes, I’ve learned to take breaks when and as I need them. I’ve learned through being in the business world that balance is very important.
Here’s my life now, and yes I promise I am still balancing….School as a student three days a week, work four days a week, and school as a “teacher”/observer one day a week. I know, I know…there are only seven days in a week and I am looking very booked up there. Where is my balance? It’s there. I have plenty of social events in there too and I’m making sure that every week I make time for me. How? Well just like we balance our budgets, I am keeping a schedule/calendar same as I am keeping my budget. Not a whole lot of deviation allowed but there’s a little bit of cushion.
So if I have it all organized how did I crash three weeks in? Duh! I’m human…I’m not Superwoman or Wonder woman! As much as I wish I am at times, I’m glad I don’t have the weight of the world on my shoulders, because the weight of my life is enough to bear. But I have great family and friends here to help me out. Keep me focused, grounded, loved, supported, etc. I have cheerleaders here even if the one I always had is no longer physically here with me. That woman made herself known at all my games, meets, and tournaments when she was here I know she will make herself known from now on too!
So just like computers my hard drive was “reset” and thanks to Dad I’m back on course!
Don’t forget to “back up” your hard drive and reset every now and again as needed. Proper care will prevent crashes!